


Sleepy Butts

by T3R3Z1



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Humanstuck, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-17
Updated: 2011-06-17
Packaged: 2017-10-20 12:25:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/212748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/T3R3Z1/pseuds/T3R3Z1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vriska is a huge bitch and locks the two homies in a closet.</p><p>Humanstuck AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sleepy Butts

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [HEADCANON TIME!](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/3576) by Slaves. 



> I got kind of lazy with this one, sorry. :[:[:[
> 
> Based on my dear Slaves's headcanon.

“Gamzee manage to stick it in yet? Pop your lil' cherry?”

Vriska leaned in close, jamming a bony elbow into Tavros's side. An awful stench of lukewarm garbage and half-chewed Tic Tacs wafted in from her open mouth, paired with the scent of previously worn clothes drenched in Fabreeze. She gave him another jab, causing him to stumble slightly.

“What?”

Quizzically, Tavros ran his tongue against the pink rubber bands affixed to his braces, which only seemed to make the girl more frantic in her interrogations.

“You know, put his you-know-what in your you-know-where! Did he?” she whined. Not getting her point across frustrated her even further. She held up her hand and enclosed her thumb and forefinger into a circle, cramming in her finger with her other hand. “This?”

“I don't know what or where you are even referring to. And, well, this is making me kind of uncomfortable.” Tavros mumbled, awkwardly glancing over to the side, desperately hoping for Rufio or something to take the pressure off of him. “Unless you mean shooting arrows at targets really fast? I think I'm too clumsy for archery.”

Just when Vriska opened her mouth to speak again, Gamzee peeked through the entryway to the kitchen.

“Hey chica, what is this bein' all up in my motherfuckin' living room? I thought I made it crystal motherfuckin' clear you weren't allowed here anymore.” he drawled, staring at her blankly. Vriska threw up her hands in defense, grinning toothily.

“I was just talking to little Tavros here. About life, you know. Those things.”

“Every time you're all up in here, you go and make Tavros up and get his motherfuckin' boo-hoo on. I think you should leave.” Gamzee then shifted his weight onto his other side, leaning against the wall with a somewhat disapproving version of his blank stare. “Anyone who makes my sugartits buddy here cry ain't motherfuckin' welcome here.”

“It's not my fault the kid's a pussy. Anything can make him cry, see?”

Vriska smirked and lifted Tavros an inch off of the ground by the collar of his unironic wolf shirt(“Like a mother wolf would, just, you know, not with her mouth”), sending him tumbling into the open closet door beside her. A sniffle followed suit. “See? What did I tell you?”

Gamzee, lanky and awkward, lumbered past her to comfort Tavros. He turned to lazily reprimand her but was met with the closet door slamming in his face. Squished underneath him, Tavros whimpered.

“Make nice, you two! Go on, Gamzee! Now's your chance to give him the 'ol in-out! Stuff like that!” Vriska jeered, banging on the door. “I'll be back. You better have put the moves on him or there'll be hell to pay.”

Gamzee pried himself off of his smaller friend and helped him sit upright, hearing the click of the door locking and her footsteps hastily growing farther away. The other boy glanced at him with red, puffy eyes before burrowing his face between his knees, silently wishing for his Tinkerbrand Safety Flashlight.

“She all up and left like motherfuckin' lickety-split, little man.” Gamzee said softly, running his hand through the top of Tavros's mohawk in an attempt to comfort him. “Don't keep letting her get your freakout on and all that unless you want to get locked in more motherfuckin' closets.”

“What was she even talking about, though? I admit that I don't understand, but it was really frustrating me.”

“Don't you worry about any of that sassy shit, you hear me?”

Gamzee leaned in close and left a lazy peck on Tavros's forehead, only to come back and kiss it again. They were just silly, playful kisses. Kisses devoid of any kind of maddening lust- the opposite of what Vriska was nagging for. His friend let out a happy chuckle in response.

“Since we're all up in here, I figure we should get our nap on before chica starts her crazy shit again.” Gamzee pulled him close and nestled his face into the crook of his neck, as Tavros pressed his face into the soft fabric stretched across his friend's chest. “I'll be the snuggliest motherfuckin' blanket you've ever had. No more sniffles, only snoozin'.”

\- - -

About an hour later, Vriska trampled through the front door, stopping in front of the closet.

“Did you give it to him good?” she asked shrilly. “Did you get it on?”

Turning the knob, she threw the door open, only two be met with two fully-clothed, boner-free individuals taking a rather peaceful nap.

“Oh.”


End file.
